Gabriel (BBW Shifter Secret Baby Football Romance) (Shifter Football League Book 1) Page 15

  He glanced across the living room at the tiny Christmas tree and small pile of wrapped gifts under it. He’d thought it was pointless to get a tree. Carolyn wasn’t there, and he was hardly ever there since he was always with her or the team. But she’d begged him. So, he’d gone out and gotten one, using Justin’s pickup to take it home, and set it up. They had done a video call on their phones while he decorated it so she could feel like part of it. She had a photo of it as the background on her phone. Under the tree were her gifts. He had bought those and carefully wrapped them. No matter what happened with the baby, he did love her, and he wanted her to have these things. A new sweater, a scarf she’d had her eye on, a beautiful bracelet.

  Beside him on the desk was a packet. A large envelope with instructions inside, and a small baggy containing four cotton swabs. Once the baby was born, they would swab his or her mouth, then Carolyn’s, his, and Kenny’s. They’d send off the kit and, a few weeks later, they would know. Then his life would either be just starting, or it would be ending.

  Was he prepared for that? As much as he’d thought about it, he couldn’t imagine what would really happen if the baby was Kenny’s. It took a few weeks to get the results. So that meant he’d have to look at this baby, take care of it, not knowing if it was his. Maybe he’d be able to tell. Maybe the kid would look just like him or Kenny. But either way, this kid would be in his life for weeks. Then it might be gone. Forever.

  Or he’d spend those weeks not bonding with his own child out of fear. Either way, it was sure to be a messed up way to start the new year. He wished it could go faster. He wished the tests didn’t take so long. And at the same time, he wanted it to last forever. Until he knew for sure, he could pretend. Pretend she was his and the baby was his and they were a happy family.

  Today was a rest day before the big game tomorrow. Well, rest as in no workouts. They had plenty to do with the media. Tomorrow was the biggest game of his life. He’d take a nap later, between seeing Carolyn and doing his press circuit, to make up for not sleeping well last night. And he’d take extra sleep medicine and go to bed early so he could get in at least ten hours of sleep tonight. He would need it. He considered drinking, just to be sure he would sleep, but the chances that he’d get drunk and then be hungover tomorrow were too high. Wasn’t worth the risk.

  He picked up the book sitting on the coffee table. Carolyn had asked him to bring it. She was going through books like crazy and had read almost everything on her shelf. He also grabbed her thick socks from the bedroom. Apparently, her hospital room got a little chilly at night.

  He headed out the door to see her. When he got to her room, she was asleep. Rather than wake her, he sat in the chair beside her bed and watched her for several minutes. She looked so innocent when she slept. Her large belly rose and fell with her breath and he imagined the baby inside, sleeping with her. Her full breasts, straining her nightshirt and sitting just above the blanket, turned him on. He wished he could climb in bed with her right now and slip inside her. He felt his dick harden and looked away with a deep sigh.

  He turned on the TV, but this was just enough to wake her.

  “Sorry,” he said. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “It wasn’t a real sleep, just a snooze.” She rubbed her eyes and moved herself into more of a seated position. “Have you been here long?”

  “Just a few minutes.”

  They watched the TV for a minute. Some car commercial.

  “You okay?” she asked.

  He nodded stiffly. She was getting really good at picking up on his moods. Not convenient when he wanted to hide it.

  “You nervous?”

  He nodded again. She meant about the game, but he was nervous about so many things. He kept his eyes on the TV.

  “Did you get a chance to pick up a gift for your mom?”

  He nodded one more time.

  “Are you going to talk to me, or just nod all morning?”

  He glanced over at her and handed her the book. “I brought this. And your socks.” He took them from his pocket and set them on her leg.

  “Thanks.” She paused, then, “What’s wrong, exactly?”

  “I’m okay. Nervous.”

  “This isn’t just about the game, is it?”

  He shook his head.

  “Didn’t think so. I’m nervous, too.” She took his hand and laced her fingers between his. “A lot will change in the next few weeks.”

  “I know.”

  “Good and bad.”

  “I know.”

  “What are you scared of the most?”

  He clenched his jaw. Should he tell her? “Just that something will go wrong.”

  She didn’t buy it. “Yeah? That what will go wrong?”

  “Look,” he snapped harder than he meant to. “I don’t want to fall in love with a kid that’s not mine, and I don’t want to not love a kid that is. It’s the most confusing and heart wrenching thing I’ve ever had to face.”

  “I hate myself for doing this to you, you know. You have other things to worry about. This game is so important.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Do you hate me for it, too?”

  “Only sometimes. Mostly, I love you, though. I hate the situation. I hate not knowing.”

  “Me too. I wish I could promise you that I’ll never do anything stupid again, but that’s unrealistic. I know I can promise not to do this particular stupid thing again, but that’s the best I can offer.”

  “It’s a start.” He gave her a half smile and relaxed a little. “How are you feeling?”

  “Pretty good. But I’m ready to be done. I don’t want to wait another two weeks.”

  “Me either.”

  “You know what I was thinking about today, though?”

  “What?”

  Her mouth pulled into a smile. “For good or for bad, in two months, it will all be over. And what’s two months, really?”

  “Not that long. Just an eternity or two.”

  She laughed. “I hear sleepless nights help the time fly.”

  “I’m sure.”

  They said nothing for a long while, staring at the TV in between looking at each other. She squeezed his hand, and said, “I love you.”

  “Me too.”

  It took everything he had to keep driving past the bar that night after he finished the interviews. It had been a long day. He imagined the hot burn of whiskey running down his throat, and the way it would numb his mind and the anxiety in his chest. Instead, he took the sleeping pills and lay down to watch TV. He was on schedule as far as going to bed. But he still had the problem of falling asleep. If these pills didn’t kick in soon, he’d be screwed.

  He turned on his back and stared at the Christmas tree. He hadn’t turned off the lights. He watched them blink on and off, counting the pattern. Before he knew it, his eyelids were growing heavy and sleep took him.

  Chapter 16

  Gabe’s alarm clock went off and he reached for his phone to turn it off. He stretched out for a moment before letting his feet hit the floor. An instant later, the anxiety settled in his stomach. Today was a huge day. There was a lot riding on this game, and a lot on his shoulders. His whole team was counting on him.

  He took an extra long shower, hoping the hot water would wash away some of his tension. Didn’t seem to be helping much. He dressed and ate a quiet breakfast of cereal as he stared absently at the blinking Christmas tree lights. He wouldn’t allow himself to wonder about the baby. If it would come before Christmas, or after. Would he be alone to celebrate the holiday with just his parents? Or would it be him and Carolyn and his family all together with a new baby?

  He shook his head to clear his thoughts and focused on the feel of the cool milk and the bits of cereal crunching between his teeth. There were a few more media related things the team had today before the game. A team photoshoot and a press conference for Coach Tucker. Then there was warming up, Coach’s final speech, and the game would start.

/>   It seemed like a whirlwind, but in just twelve hours, it’d all be over, for good or bad. Either they’d be champions or the first ever losers. He was going to do all he could to make them champions.

  Gabe finished breakfast and dressed, putting on his button down shirt for the media appearances. His uniform was packed in his bag and a brand new jersey awaited him in the locker room. He paused before walking out to his car, took one long breath and said, “Gabe, you can do this. You’re already a star.” Then he walked out and drove over to the arena.

  After all the interviews and photoshoots were done, after they’d been fed a protein-filled lunch, it was time for the real fun to begin. The team headed into the locker room to suit up and get ready for warm ups.

  They were surprisingly quiet as they pulled on pads and pants. None of the usual pre-game banter went on. They must all be nervous and focused, ready for the biggest game of their lives.

  Gabe finished getting ready and took a few minutes to call Carolyn before warm ups.

  “Hi,” she answered, yawning.

  “Hi. You okay?”

  “Yeah,” she said, “Just didn’t sleep well. The bigger I get, the harder it is to be comfortable. I’m so ready to be done.”

  “Sorry. Have you seen the doctor today?”

  “Yeah. She thinks it might not be quite two weeks, but wasn’t sure how soon.”

  “That’s good. The sooner the better.” Then they could get this horrible waiting over with.

  “Yeah. You all ready for the game?”

  “I guess.” He sighed. “I’ve never been this nervous before.”

  “You’re going to be awesome. You’re the star already, so all you have to do now is go out there and shine.”

  He smiled at her words. Even this morning when he was leaving the house and told himself he was already a star, he was repeating words she said to him often. “Thank you. Sorry I couldn’t get over to see you today.”

  “It’s okay. You had a really busy day.”

  “I’ll be there first thing in the morning. You’re going to watch it?”

  “Gabe. Are you kidding me? The whole hospital is going to watch it. The nurses even hung up some Grizzlies posters on the floor and in my room. They’re all rooting for you, too. I think they feel special that they sort of know you. They might want autographs.”

  “I hope so. I just… I want to win so bad, you know?”

  “I know. I want you to, too. But Gabe, if for some reason you don’t, it doesn’t make you a bad player. And I’ll still love you.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You’re still getting to play in the first Bear Bowl ever. That’s awesome in itself, right?”

  “It is.” His smile grew. He loved her enthusiasm. “I love you so much.”

  “I know it. Now get out there and win big.”

  “I will.”

  He put his phone back in his locker and jogged onto the field. Most of the team was already out there, doing little exercises to warm up their muscles. He started with jumping jacks, then did a sprint and sideways sprints to practice his footwork. As a team, they ran practice drills and tackles. When they were good and warm and the stands were starting to fill, Coach Tucker brought them back into the locker room.

  “Team, we’ve made it this far.” He stood in front of them as they sat and stood scattered across the benches or shifting foot to foot nervously. “We’ve all worked very hard to get here and we’re making history as we speak. No matter what happens out there tonight, I’m proud of you all. Proud that I have coached the finest athletes in this new shifter league. Proud to say I coached in the first ever Bear Bowl game. Even if we lose the game tonight, we’ve all won.”

  He paused for a moment to smile at them. “But I know how hard you’ve worked and how bad you want this. I know we can win. I believe we will win. We know the plays. We’ve gone over them again and again. We’ve won more games than any other team in the league. We’re champs already. Now let’s go win the ring to prove it.”

  The team stood and gathered around. They put their hands in the center of the circle and said their pre-game chant, “Goooo Grizzlies!” before grunting at each other and breaking apart.

  Gabe stopped to tied his shoelace and when he looked up, Kenny was standing there, watching him.

  “Hey,” Gabe said. He’d successfully avoided Kenny in the last weeks and he didn’t want to break that pattern now. Especially when he needed his head clear.

  Kenny glared down at him. “You don’t get all three.”

  “What are you talking about?” Gabe finished with his shoe and got to his feet, crossing his arms and holding a defensive stance.

  “You don’t get to be the star of the team, and have Carolyn, and have the baby. You don’t get all three.”

  Gabe glared back. “Stop this. We’re not getting into this now.”

  “I know everyone thinks you’re going to win it for us. And that’s fine. I hope you do. But know that I will stop at nothing to make sure it’s all you win.”

  Gabe pushed past him, banging hard into his shoulder.

  “I will have her, Gabe. And that baby is mine.”

  Gabe shook his head and took several deep breaths. Kenny had gone crazy apparently. How in the world did have balls big enough to confront him like that? The anger churned in his stomach. Good. He would this use against the other team. He would take out all his anger and frustration and anxiety on anyone who got in his way. He would win this game. Then he’d go home to his girl and in a few weeks, his baby. Maybe.

  No, he couldn’t think about that now. It was time to focus on the game. The coach called them in for a huddle, they went over the list of plays one last time, so no one would forget what was about to happen. They’d won the coin toss, so they’d gotten to select their starting position. Already, it seemed they were off to a good start.

  They hit the field, taking their positions. Gabe stared ahead at the other team. He glared as much as he could from inside his helmet, trying to be intimidating. He took in a few deep breaths and reviewed the plays in his mind. First, he’d go left, then right, look for the ball, catch it, and go.

  The whistle blew and the game had officially started. The first play went shakily. The guys fell into proper formation, but there was some hesitation as the other team tried to stop them and get in their way. But they managed to get the ball to Gabe, who ran it and got the first down.

  This tiny lead seemed to give the Grizzlies some confidence. They scored quickly after that. A touchdown at Gabe’s hand. The first touchdown of the first Bear Bowl. He couldn’t help grinning ear to ear as he regrouped with his team for their chance at the extra point, and then the next round of plays.

  “Great work!” Coach Tucker shouted over the roaring crowd. “Keep hustling out there. Let’s score so fast, they don’t know what hit them.”